Got babies on the brain, and US politics? Even if not, I (we) enjoyed Slate's latest slide show, The Baby Primary.

(By the way, happy birthday, mom.)

Tags: Humor

There once was a guy called von Rad,
whose learning was not a facade.
He argued for credo,
which since got torpedoed
by design (say some) of Mossad.



Tags: Humor

The word "lassitude" was on the brain as I walked to work today. I looked it up in the OED to check I had the right nuance. Sure enough: "a flagging of the bodily or mental powers; indifference to exertion."

Then, for some reason, I checked to see if the domain was available. Here's the irony part. Lassitude.org has been snatched up by one of those indifferent companies that offers web locations for a markup and fills the space meanwhile with a search page and random links. The domain name plus motto reads:

Tags: Humor

This moment is brought to you in part by Sony Ericsson.

Earlier this week I read through an unpublished dissertation on Childs, one which is cited surprisingly often cited in the literature on Childs. Our library didn't have it, so I had to get it through Inter Library Loans. It came as microfiche.

Technology Moment 1: This bit of analog technology permits a person to store large amounts of information—in this case 250 odd sheets of double spaced typing paper—on small, transportable bits of plastic. Thus, after waiting a few weeks for processing, a post-card sized letter shows up which, when combined in the right way with an apparatus that is only slightly larger than six or so bound dissertations stacked one on top of another, allows the interested party to read the material in question.

It's very convenient, except that the blotches and imperfections in the film are magnified along with the words you want to read. The lighting mechanism is uneven and fairly noisy (fan), too—imagine sitting next to an old overhead projector if you've never had this technology experience before—though the fan helps drown out distractions, and the whole machine can keep you slightly warmer in a cold corner of some library. I also appreciated the fact that it was impossible for me to stick post-it notes anywhere in the text, which is now an obsessive habit.

Technology Moment 2: I took a few notes as I went along, but I didn't really feel like copying down a paragraph that conveniently summarized a (simplistic) thesis. So I whipped out my phone—a recent upgrade which takes low-grade photos—and snapped this (bottom half of page 197, you can just make out):



The audio equivalent would be, I suppose, using your phone to record a 78 on a turntable. The analog feels pure, somehow. Seems to offer something salutary, as nostalgia does. (I felt like an old-school researcher!) In this case, the blotches help redeem the content.

PS, Now that I've resized the thing for the blog, and written about it, it would actually have been faster to copy down the paragraph by hand.

PPS, On the other hand, if you multiply the extra time taken by the physical space I've taken (not counting the physical space that was already being taken up by camera phone or computer), you multiply by 0. The negation of time by space is one of the broadest appeals of the digital revolution. It is also its menace. Blogging is the attempt to counteract the felt diminishment in size by running the other term as close to infinity as possible. Almost zero times almost infinity is still something, right?

On a metaphorical note, if you wonder why I'm not in the blogosphere much lately it's because I'm reviewing my multiplication tables, working with whole numbers that do not exceed the sum of my (very physical and library-chilled) digits.

Tags: PhD, Humor

Some of you may remember my writing about the Rapture Index on RaptureReady.com in February. (If you missed it, see here.) Well, my most faithful reader prompted me to check whether today's date affected the index at all, and sure enough, the index is up one point.

You have to appreciate some of the subtlety here. It isn't the date itself that raises the index. Rather, we have this explanation:

35 Date Settings
The occurrence of the 06/06/06 date has increased interest in numerical date speculation.

Not even the nuances of a textual variant would bring us back down a point. Harm's already been done. Because people out there aren't taking Jesus seriously, who said that not even he knows the day or time, only the Father.

Obviously, as in all matters eschatological, you shouldn't just take my word for it. Read the report on the signs of the times for yourself.

I wish I could say not to worry because we're actually down a point from where we were last time I checked, at 157 instead of 158. However, both numbers are still in the highest range in the "prophetic speedometer." A score up to 145 means "heavy prophetic activity," but a score beyond 145, where I suppose we've been all year, situates us in the dangerous "fasten your seat belts" zone.

I was going to say that you could read their Nearing Midnight blog for more details on 06/06/06. You still can, but actually the first part of yesterday's post (try here if the link won't work), on "The Perils of Multiculturalism," is more interesting to my mind. Here's my favorite paragraph:

Multiculturalism is the opposite of nationalism; it highlights the differences between people while ignoring the similarities. Multiculturalism is not about ethnic, racial, or religious diversity -- that which once made America into a "melting pot" of nations. Under the influence of liberal thinking, America came to consist of many different "pots" of cultures, each separate from the others.

Thus, Todd aphorizes, "There is nothing multicultural about multiculturalism."

Come to think of it, you may also wish to read the signs of the times for yourself, too.

Tags: Humor

You've got to watch what you blog about. I was warned recently about admitting that I've seen movies like Eyes Wide Shut, depending on where I hope to get a job later. Fair enough. But this one caught me by complete surprise.

A recent first-time visitor to this blog, from Saudi Arabia (!), got here by a Yahoo search for "lolita childs."

Naturally, this site, for all it talks about Childs, came near the top of the list (I mentioned reading Nabokov's book a few weeks back). If the man comes back looking, tell him I've never heard of her.

On a related note, Phil put me on to a recent news item that is similarly "by turns disturbing, sad, and hilarious." Free train travel anyone? Make sure to read to the end.

Finally, a word about my choice to designate all this as humor. I grant that it is dark humor at best, probably closer to horror. But as a genre horror has often flirted with comedy (I must credit Phil again for reminding me). If you think there's nothing even remotely comic about these very real episodes, then I predict you also did not at all enjoy Colbert's presentation at the White House correspondents' dinner.

If any of this rankles you, I dare you to post the first comment in ages.

Tags: Humor

If you haven't made up your mind yet about Stephen Colbert's stunt in DC, this piece by Troy of Slate Magazine may help you see it as "good political satire." You can even listen to the author read it to you if you like.

If you didn't know Colbert before, you may appreciate his humor better in its usual context. A favorite clip of mine on YouTube pertains to my home state.

Tags: Humor

There's a bit of St Andrews lore behind the anual May dip, where thousands of crazed (not always drunk) students jump into the North Sea at 5 AM. They say that if you step on the stones marking the place were martyr Patrick Hamilton was burned at the stake, you will not graduate.


One can fairly easily step on these stones if walking along North Street. Fortunately it is possible to make expiation on the first of May. All you have to do is jump into the North Sea at dawn.

That's the story anyway. People seem to go along for other reasons, though. Several friends took the plunge this year (photos posted here and here). For myself, I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed.

For the reflections of somebody who was actually there this year, see Meg's blog.

Tags: Humor, St Andrews

I'm not still watching the winter Olympics anymore, which is too bad because it's about the only guilt-free TV I can watch. I feel edified, somehow, even if I'm watching 15 back to back runs of 4 man bobsled, where the only difference I can see is the paint job and the number at the bottom of the screen when each team finishes.

I do have to say that the Olympics—and somehow this seems especially true of the winter Olympics—are less exciting now that the Cold War is over. Maybe this is just because the first Olympics I watched were in the twilight of that era and I'm nostalgic for my youth. But somehow the geo-political tension just wasn't there for me when Russia lost their bronze medal match in ice hockey, or even when Japan stood over America and Russia on the podium for women's figure skating.

Tags: Humor

A piece from Slate skewers corporate blogging. I recognize that there are several reasons for blogging, but I thought glamorizing and formalizing the time a person spends not working were near the top of the list. The blogging-for-profit motive is almost antithetical to the genre.

Tags: Blogging, Humor

I confess I don't know exactly what category to put this in. Humor is closest for me, but for Todd, who hosts RaptureReady.com, the issue is deadly serious. If he finds this post, I hope he'll pardon my impiety.

The site's content is extensive, so I'm not sure how to describe it briefly. I might recommend visiting the Rapture Index for a start. Todd applies his own calculus to the signs of the times, and then generates an index of the rate at which we're hurtling towards a pre-trib rapture. On 30 January, for instance, there was a net change of +1 on the rapture index, for a score of 158. Thus we're still well above "Heavy Prophetic Activity" in the "Fasten Your Seat Belts" zone, which has no ceiling.

A closer analysis of the net increase shows two factors, both related to the Hamas election victory. Under index 21, Anti-Semitism, we're told that "The Hamas win has increased the threat to Israel." Thus +2. On the other hand, the same event downgraded index 30, The Peace Process, by one point.

Of the 45 specific indexes some are surprising. Number 34, The Antichrist, dropped because of the French vote against the UN constitution. Also, 32, The Mark of the Beast, reports that "the U.S. Patriot Act has failed to get enough votes for extension." Both point to a willingness to depart from blind support of the Bush administration and the war effort. This challenges the view of some left-leaning reporters on the religious right (such as Jeff Sharlet) that American fundamentalism means warmongering and thirst for empire.

Yet Todd also shows strains of Bush support. Another page worth visiting, The Mr. Antichrist Evil Pageant, lists several hopefuls, such as Mikhail Gorbachev (former leader of the former Soviet Union??), Kofi Annan, and even Prince Charles and Prince William (who graduated St Andrews just last year—this is getting very close to home). George Bush and Tony Blair also appear. However, Bush "made the list simply because he is the current acting (sic) U.S. President." And Blair "is mostly regarded as a light weight contender."

But zeal for politics and the end of the world have been difficult interests to reconcile for American Christians of Todd's stripe since the rise of dispensational theology.

If it turns out that Todd is right after all, there's helpful material for people who weren't ready, such as Oops, I Guess I Wasn't Ready and the Post Rapture Survival Guide. Being faithful at this stage will probably involve getting martyred, but perhaps there will be time to appreciate the humor intentionally posted on RaptureReady, like The Resumé of Jesus Christ. This, we're told, is "humorous but yet true." Probably like most ostensibly humorous things from within such a point of reference.

Tags: Humor

Can't remember the details of the episode with Onan (Genesis 38)? Try this punny summary, which borrows banking terminology:

Onan refused to make a deposit, so God penalized him for an early withdrawal.

Tags: Humor